Hotel Frogger 3rd time staying here this year, like a home away from home. Painless flight and I am quite adept at sleeping on planes. The only real excitement was when the pilot somehow felt that announcing the "we will be landing in twenty minutes" warning about ten minutes before touchdown, was a good idea. That sent all the flight attendants scurrying around really fast muttering things like "forget the headphones, get the passengers seated or we will have to abort the landing." While disgruntled passengers standing in line for the restroom reluctantly got herded back to their seats. Also I had the pleasure of sitting near an especially over zealous flight attendant that kept barking something about shutting off our cell phones while the engines were running, so in the back of my mind I reconstruct the series of events leading up to the 'no cell phone on' rule.

**** Big Important Meeting with Brilliant Airline Decision Makers****

"OK, I have called this meeting to discuss how we are going to deal with the proliferation of cell phones and electronics on airplanes. As you all know, if a cell phone is on, a plane could get lost or fall out of the sky. Also I am sure you are all aware that while taxiing around the runway after landing, cell phones could potentially mess with something but we are not sure what that is. Any ideas on how we can deal with this life threatening issue?

Arm raises

Yes, you in the back...

"How about we use the tried and true method called the Honor System? We could ask people to turn off their cell phones and then try and catch them with them on. That way anyone holding a phone would sometimes get caught and we could be rude to them."

Excellent idea, that will work perfectly, let's make that our policy!

Another arm raises.

Yes, you over there.

"What if a passenger forgets and leaves the phone on in their bag?"

Hmmm, I don't think that will happen, that is a stupid point. Security, can you escort that man out, I think he is planning on smuggling lip balm onto an airplane."

Meeting adjourned.

**** End Big Important Meeting with Brilliant Airline Decision Makers****

During the break, as I always do, I spent some time up at the Rat Shop, lets go take a look

That is Sarah, roadie in training putting up with the grueling day to day of working at Rat headquarters. She started as an intern with us, did the audio equivalent of boot camp by doing Warped tour as a main stage 3rd and most recently was the winner of the Rat Sound Raffle sending her and a pal to Aruba for a holiday. Plus she looks really cool driving the Rat forklift!

**** Ebay Update ****

Also during break, the responsibility of acquiring FOH theme decorations was a major concern. Sadly, finding Tiki items in November proved a challenge beyond the scope of my capabilities. Disheartened and crushed I drug myself up from the depths of apathy and had to think clearly. "If not Tiki, then what? Underwater? Hmmm, the scuba outfits may prove cumbersome. Mexican? Oh, that would be great, we could set up a tequila bar and have pinatas and invite Grier to run a taco stand, maybe get a horse. But horses go poo a lot and we would have to get a mighty big road case made for it. Hmmm. Roadies are kind of like pirates, crusing around the world looking for booty, maybe I could just drop by the local Pirate Store and see what they have. I guess I will give that a shot."

Hmmm, I wonder if this is the right place

"Excuse me, my name is Dave Rat and I want to redecorate Front of House with a Pirate Theme, would you perhaps have any pirate stuff around here for sale?"

And magical people I did meet, I love the pirate store and the piratesses were wonderful. They assisted me in my quest and if you are ever in need of piratey items check out http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=90228266 and http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=65273652.

Ohhh, I want a cannon!

Maybe for the US leg as I don't have a suitcase big enough to fit that. Instead I will just sing.

Yo ho, yo ho a pirate's life for me.
We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We extort, we pilfer, we filch, and sack,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Maraud and embezzle, and even highjack,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We kindle and char, inflame and ignite,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We burn up the city, we're really a fright,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We're rascals, scoundrels, villains, and knaves,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We're beggars and blighters, never-do-well cads,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

The sailing off of to distant lands,

Dave Rat

For those of you just joining us, here is a link to our ebay auction:

http://www.ratsound.com/ebay_auction/ebay.htm

And the comments and questions:

http://ratsound.com/ebay_auction/Show%20All%20Questions.htm

The eBay auction exceeded our expectations beyond comprehension. It was announced on the radio in Portland and Northern California, it was a top pick on goofyauctions.com:

easily squashing "the carrot that looks like Paris Hilton" selling for 15 times the price:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ih=006&sspagename=STRK%3AMEWA%3AIT&viewitem=&item=160040787512&rd=1&rd=1

The bidding was fierce but a victor emerged and has staked his place in the history of mankind. The time line of : Weapons, Fire, The Wheel, Anti-Biotic's, The Telegraph, Advertising on a Roadie and Landing on the Moon will all surely forever be the markers by which mankind is judged.

The auction winner is George.

Not only is he the proud temporary owner of the Dave Rat and Scott backs for a yet undisclosed show, he also owns a sound company in Ontario, Canada called Crank Sound Distribution. Though I had no idea who the winner was till after the auction, here is an excerpt from an email I received from George in September:

"I have been involved in the audio & lighting business for almost 20yrs. Working with various outfits across the country. In 2003 I decided to start my own sound company & I could not be happier with that decision. I was partly inspired by you to do this & in particular by an interview you gave to Professional Sound magazine back in December of 2000. That magazine sits on my office desk to this day."

Other than the fact that helping to inspire people to follow their dreams and life passions is one of the most important things in the world to me, no big deal. I had a really hard time with accepting the payment from him but then the realization of how badly we need to redecorate as well as the importance of following through on agreements overruled and so ahead we sally forth into the future.

Sallying forth with a bit of a stumble that is. Unfortunately the bank did not recognize Scott the Lampi nor myself as Dave Rat neither Scott nor I had ID that matched Even after much pleading and showing of the blog, we were unable to cash the check causing a slight delay in the process. Since then we got it all straightened out and are ready to proceed with the adventure.

**** Begin Important Memo ****

Sent: Nov 11, 2006 9:58 AM
Subject: FOH crew memo

Attention All FOH Roadies:

First Please welcome roadie Lee to our FOH world as he will temporarily be replacing Nick the Fly for the upcoming Euro run.

As you all are aware, we will be changing out our FOH 'Autumn Motif' to a summer/tropical presentation for the upcoming leg. I realize this is a major undertaking and there are a few details that will need to be addressed.

1) At least for the early stages of the tour, tropical attire will be mandatory. If you are in need of bright flowery shirts, let me know and I can bring extras. Bermuda shorts and sandals are recommended.

2) As you are well aware we have a significant and extraordinary budget for the decorations nearly $300! Obtaining tiki items in london may pose a challenge, so please do your part by acquiring any relevant items and bring them with you. Keep your eyes out as this could be more difficult than you think.

Figure up to about $50 each should do it for solo buying and we will hopefully be hiring outside consultant Lyssa B for guidance with the remainder. Please forward any suggestions or ideas ASAP! In order to keep everyone in the loop and avoid cost over runs, it is imperative that you notify us of any billable purchases.

Do not forget to save your receipts and remember, the quality our FOH world is how we are judged, this is our FOH world, let's make something we enjoy and are proud of.

Oh, and as far as all that sound and lighting stuff, we can deal with that later.

Sincerely,

The Front of House Management Authority

*** End Important Memo ****

Well there you have it. Looks like the hammer has come down and we have a plan. With the eBay auction reeling in a whooping $ 406 we were stunned and laughing. We of course provide full accounting, copies of all receipts, cancelled checks and such as this progresses but here is our preliminary budget:

Total income: $ 406

25% to Surf Rider Foundation: $ 101.50

eBay fees: $ 13.84

Miscellaneous surcharges and handling fees: $ 0.66

Leaving us $ 290.00 for our spending spree!

The ready to shop,

Dave Rat

**** Begin Ebay Auction Update ****

With baited breath and the heart pounding anticipation one would feel waiting in line for seven days to get a new driver's licence, each day brings new surprises. The ebay auction has already financially surpassed our expectations nearly tenfold and it looks like new carpet may turn into a reality after all as the bidding has reached $ 172.00. Wow!

Beyond the financial side and much more importantly, the responses we have been getting are phenomenal and it looks as if news of roadie antics is spreading far and wide. And then, look at this, we made it to the big time! http://www.goofyauctions.com/ has put us up as featured ad.

**** End Ebay Auction Update ****

I like Philly and other than being a bit chilly in Philly and a minor show start guitar rig stumble, I had much fun and really enjoyed the show. Remember the napping roadie at my door? Well, with as much luck as it took to capture a photo of lightning I shot this pic and take a close look at the video screens from the song Throw Away Your TV.

How about that for a bit of Peppers trivia, if you do come to a Peppers show and remember to look, you may get a chuckle at knowing what the picture is of.

And not one to want to ignore The Mars Volta:

Special Bulletin!!!

In tribute to all that has happened and is happening in the roadie realm, I hereby, by the powers vested in me dub the last week of October to be "Roadie Awareness Week." The start of Roadie Awareness Week is to be determined by counting backwards 7 days from halloween and it is 8 days long, ending on November 1st of each year. During Roadie Awareness Week, nothing special really goes on other than occasionally attempting to send warm thoughts to roadie's everywhere whenever you need to lift something heavy or push around something on wheels.

And to start off Roadie Awareness Week, I bring you a new game called 'Meet the Roadie.' The rules are very complex, basically it goes something to the effect of

1) I post a picture of a roadie, tell you their name and what they do for a gig.

2) You then and thereby consider that roadie met.

My goal being to introduce you to all of us before the tour is over.

**** Begin Meet a Roadie Campaign Episode 1 ****

Today your Meet a Roadie's are Fletch, Gabe, Raff and Chuck.

Here is an excerpt from way back on Day 89 when I did a crew over view

Riggers - are the sharp edged early risers. First in and last out, they calculate and hang the heavy loads safely over our heads. These clean, mean and meticulous machines effortlessly climb to frightful heights. The upside is that they typically can get a nice long mid day sissy nap.

What do riggers do? They rig things of course. Fortunately we carry many things on tour with us that enjoy being rigged. The speakers and lights and video walls all love it when the riggers rig them. Some things that do not like to be rigged are tour busses, catering food and socks. When properly rigged, the sound, lights and video hangs safely over our heads, that is good. When improperly rigged, very heavy things can come crashing down a smoosh humans and roadies like hitting a snail with a hammer, that is often referred to as bad.

First we have Fletcher, which we refer to as the Lead Rigger. Notice his effective usage of the coffee cup while pointing something out to roadie Scott.

Roadie Raff is a specialized rigger in that he heads up the moving motor aspect. Don't be fooled by their gruff looks, these guys are sharp cookies and don't mess around when it comes to safety.

Gabe is also a rigger but he has no extra modifier to his title, here we can see him in a common rigging position. Riggers like to look upwards a lot.

And at what does roadie Gabe gaze? Did you notice roadie gabe is looking skyward? Why is he doing that? Hmmm, well the current reason is that there are humans running around up there. Wow, how did they get up there?

I don't know, maybe catapult? Those humans in the rafters are called "up riggers", though not sure why. The riggers on the ground are called down riggers, another puzzling name. Up riggers drop ropes down that down riggers tie chains onto. Then up riggers attach the chain to steel ropes that are wrapped around beams in the roof. Each of these chains comes threaded through a motor that can climb the chain. The other roadies then attach the gear that is going to be flown (lifted) to the motor and up and away it goes bye bye!

We carry four riggers with us and then hire local spare riggers in each city.

And so, meet Chuck, touring rigger number four.

As all riggers do, rigger Chuck experiences much comfort hugging the chain motor hook.

**** End Meet a Roadie Campaign Episode 1 ****

Good day and good night,

The big eyed and curious,

Dave Rat

We have already been here and now we are a back again where we were before so today should be the same except for the parts that are different.

**** Issue of the Day ****

Our beloved and very much needed band humans found themselves on the wrong side of a seven car pile up between NYC and the gig. The ensuing traffic jam left them far away as we anxiously awaited. Fortunately they were arrived in time to rock but not in time enough to play on time. The upside of the event was that Mars Volta played an extended set for us to enjoy.

Another upside was that Lampi Scott and I were left with way too much extra time on our hands to concoct mischievous plans.

**** End Issue of the Day ****

During that spare time we decided to dedicate our time wisely and contrive a grand master plan to solve all of our earthly problems. Well, at least some of the earthly issues or most accurately, one. Without question our unanimous vote of two resulted in addressing our most pressing trauma; "How are we going to finance the redecoration of the FOH mix world?" Hmmmm, primarily we will need cash, and lots of it, I figure five's and five's of dollars at least. Acquiring that kind of bankroll will be a challenge indeed. Shall we pan handle? Pick pockets? Sell our bodies? There must be a way we can easily and quickly generate the finances for this endeavor. Aha! Sell our bodies, perfect! And it was then we committed to do what any entrepreneurial 21st century roadie would do in this situation:

Aghast we were soon to realize that there was a serious flaw to our plan and after several minutes with no bites we began to rethink our strategy, yes people were seeing our ad for ad space:

But no takers. Argh! And that is when it dawned us, we need a bigger audience, we need go public, we need to, yes that is correct, go to Ebay.

Our Ad

And so a new adventure begins.

The curious as to what happens next.

Dave Rat

With the carpet store open, Scott and I could hardly contain our excitement as we carefully selected our floor covering. Scott showing buyers remorse:

If you look carefully on his bag you can spot the yellow plastic blow gun. Unfortunately the carpet was neither comfy nor popular as roadies Scott and Monte Lee Wilkes are demonstrating here:

We had informed Nick the Fly of or purchases and he clearly does not show up under-prepared.

Of special note, you may not realize it but this photo was taken at front of house and not in a forest during autumn. Those shrubbery like leaves are actually camouflaging the high tech equipment.

Let that games begin and so they did. The ruthless battle saw no quarter as foam darts filled the arena skies deep into the night for several yards surrounding. Though all FOH roadies were fair game for the hunt, soon we followed the lead of roadie Scott. Turning our weapons of war upon the punters, valiantly and ruthlessly shoot audience members in the back whom dare to stand betwixt us and the band. Effectively the mysterious thump to their hind sides inspired those blocking our view to forfeit their stance upon thy chair and return to the earthly level. From this we derived much pleasure.

The wounded but surviving,

Dave Rat