Roadies in the Midst - Touring with the Red Hot Chili Peppers - Roadie Research

Day 334 April 22nd - Auckland Bungy Jump Special!!, Again!

nospam@example.com (Dave Rat) — Sun, 22 Apr 2007 23:31:00 -0700

Bungy jumping yesterday was so fun that we really had not much of a choice other than to go do it again. Plus, last night while out having some drinks with the Bungy crew, Roadie Daniel somehow agree to join us, much to his dismay we had no intention of forgetting.

**** Roadie Research Segment ****

In the wild, roadies are adventurous creatures filled with unbounded curiosity. Just feel the excitement that roadie Daniel radiates while exuberantly joining the other roadies on hunt for adventure

Look! Roadie Cliff has cleverly hunted down some food that was located in the Bungy office fridge, don't attempt to touch a roadie while eating.

Roadies, by nature, are extremely supportive of their peers, this deep compassion and sensitivity can be clearly seen below as roadies Cliff and Manny comfort roadie Daniel as the reality that he has actually agreed to jump off of the non-burning bridge, begins to set in.

Another aspect of merit that roadies are known for is fearlessness.

Please don't be frightened by the next photo as observing a roadie in 'fierce mode' can be quite traumatizing to the unprepared. Here Roadie Daniel is clearly a force not to be reckoned with

As the moment approaches, roadie Daniel could hardly be restrained as he dashes toward the precarious precipice

Looking downward, only further enthralls this adventurous roadie with determination and glee

Perch in attack mode, notice how Roadie Daniel's firmly grips the fabric of his handler's shirt utilizing the "pinch" method of attaching himself to the fabric. This is a rare and never before seen roadie trait. Legend has it that many centuries ago when roadies were wandering warriors, they would latch themselves onto their foes and hurl themselves from high places. Perhaps this fabric pinch is a genealogical instinctual remnant action from ages past?

And then after what seemed like an eternity, because it nearly was, roadie Daniel leaps to his destiny which was to dangle on a rubber cord over the water.

**** End Roadie Research Segment ****

OK, for those of you that ant to get better idea of what it feels like to actually Bungy Jump, here is a video where I leaned backwards over the drop and was let go while I held my little camera in my hand.

And finally, thank you to the AJ Hackett Bungy crew, here we all are up at the jump site

And back the the whole crew all together. Thank You!!!

And if you are ever in Auckland, pay them a visit and tell 'em the Peppers roadies sent ya!

The love to fly,

Dave Rat

Day 251 - Jan 29 - Orlando Day Off

nospam@example.com (Dave Rat) — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 16:40:06 -0800

Hello Gnarls Barkley! I finally got around to taking a full band shot

And our friend Josh Klinghoffer who is well loved in the Peppers camp and worth checking out anything that he is involved with.

**** Roadie Research Segmnet ****

Roadies are very friendly and giving creatures by nature. Their overwhelming desire to immerse themselves in selfless generosity at times can saturates the roadie so thoroughly that no option other than to act upon that desire remains. Roadie Leif is no exception.

In fact roadie Leif is a prime example of how truly kind and thoughtful a roadie can be. Most recently, as hard as it is to believe, roadie Leif was out shopping on his day off and out of the pure goodness of his heart, the realization came that roadie Lee worked long hard hours show after show and often had nowhere to sit to rest his weary legs. That is when brilliance struck Leif like a falling cotton ball. It was not long till gloriously Leif parades into the gig proudly displaying his heroic purchase that will surely bring happiness and joy to fellow roadie and comrade in rock, roadie Lee. Here we can see roadie Lee basking in the euphoria as he enjoys a gift chair so caringly given

It just warms my heart to roadies looking out for each other, but it really should be no surprise as roadies would never have made it this far up the evolutionary chain if it was not for their keen sense of survival and preservation of the roadie herd.

**** Roadie Research Segmnet ****

**** Begin Dear Ratty ****

Guitar rig, Bass Rig, Monitor Rig

Monitor Danni

Hey, great nerd speak on this one, rigging is fascinating!!! I can't wait to see your nerd speak on the monitor system!!!!

Cheers

Monitor Danni

Thank you and we have a monitor Danny as well! I will do the mon setup soon but first I have to go figure out what it is they do over in monitor world.

What about the trading card?
Hey what ever happened with those?

Got swag?
Marymoon

Thank you for the reminder, I have not forgotten Roadie Cards and have stats on a few more roadies. I just need to carve out a chunk of time. What is really pressing is finishing up our end of the eBay auction!!

Posted by 18wheeler - January 28, 2007 11:24AM
hello dave
good blog, as always. that's the beauty of ya blogs, gives us, the fans a great chance too see the behind the scenes things, that are so vital too making those 2 hours in each town, so special, I remember the versa tubes especially, as they were what i carried on the 2nd euro leg up the ramp, down the ramp, making sure local crew were not too heavy handed with the carts, so as anything got damaged. Should be fun getting all the gear too Japan, sea containers I presume???? Not much fun too load that's my job here in england at the mo, moving sea containers all over the uk with my truck, chick peas 1 day chicken the next, its sooooo rock n
roll.

Hey hey, Hope you are taking care. The transport of gear is pretty complex. Some will be sea container, some will be replicated and hired locally, some will go air freight and some will change to alter the show. It really depends on timing, distance, where we go next and how big the gigs are. I think that all that I am bringing audio wise is the FOH drive and console plus Daniel will have the full monitor rig.

User Name: Miguel Pacheco
User Email: misha333@hotmail.com
User Homepage:

Comments:
Hey Dave what's up? I will be in the Tampa show tonight and then I will go to the Orlando and Miami show. I am pretty excited about rocking out. I just wanted to say I love this web site and the whole idea. I was wondering could you show a cool pic of Fruciante's guitar pedals please and also his guitar rack, I would luv to see that. Thank you so much.

How about this?

I will try to remember to grab a shot of his guitars at some point for ya.

User Name: Steve
Comments:
Hi Dave,

I've been following your blog world-tour since the beginning and will try to get to FOH to meet you at the Tampa show.

This might interest you with regards to Apple Computers: They are continuously ranked near to, and now at the very bottom of, the list as far as green manufacturing and recycling processes. There manufacturing processes use the most toxic chemicals and produce the most damaging byproducts.

Here is but one source: http://www.greenpeace.org/international/news/electronics-companies-race-061206

Take care on the road,
Steve

Interesting, I would never have guessed. I naturally would have assumed that Apple would take more of a pro environment stance, especially considering the high percentage of artistic and music related humans that support their products. Thanks Steve! Well, maybe with a bit of pressure they will bump their game up a notch.

Oh, and to answer another request, here is bass world featuring roadie Tracy

User Name: Sander
Comments:
Hi Dave, really love you blog! Been checking it everyday since I found it

Would be cool if you could go into detail about the drum mic'ing, as a semi-professional i'm experimenting with it for a while now myself and are very curious how you guys did this for this great band!

Hey Sander,

I did some photo's of the Peppers drum mic'ing a while back, check out Day 23. As far as a more in depth look into it, well, my approach is pretty simple. I put the mics very close to the drums in order to minimize background noise, reduce feedback issues and gain control over the individual drums. I mic the cymbals in 'regions' to reduce the quantity of mics and pay close attention to placing the mics physically so they give me the proper balance when they mic more than a single cymbal or percussive thingy. I use dependable mics that sound good, do the job and do not get in the way of the drummer's playing or sight lines. I avoid getting all excited about expensive 'boutique' mics live, I leave that adventure up to the studio humans. I try to use as few mic stands as possible and rely on clamps because stands are a pain to set up, always move and are in the way. I use two mics to get the kick and snare sound because it sucks if one stops working and I don't have a spare up there. I can make it through a song if any of the other drum mics fail.

-- Ratty

Ok, that completes another Dear Ratty segment. I will do these occasionally as good questions build up.

**** End Dear Ratty ****

Counting down the hours, two more shows till home!

Dave Rat

Day 229 - Jan 7 - Home

nospam@example.com (Dave Rat) — Sun, 07 Jan 2007 11:41:33 -0800

The roadie herd is an ever evolving entity. With each tour comes new faces while once daily faces drift off on to different tours and adventures in life. Time travel ont the road is a strange progression. There are people that I see year after year and others that I re-meet after decade and pick up where we left of as if we both just gone home for the weekend. As I approach my seventeenth year touring with this band and twenty first year working with them, I have seen nearly everyone leave no one is left from when I started except for Ak and Flea. Some people leave due to the realities of no longer being alive, some have gotten confused and forgotten or failed to play their part in orchestration. Still more have allowed distraction to take them away or political rifts, power plays, incompatibilities, oversights and poor timing have towed many roadie in other directions. Above all, the same looming fact hovers over all 'roadies by trade' as it does any herd in the wilds of the tundra. "To be a part of the herd you must hunt and fend for yourself or you will be left behind to be eaten by the vultures." Translated into the realities of roadie terms this means that there is diminishing place for elder roadies and when you are too old to lift and load and move fast from city to city, a younger fierce roadie will replace you.

Unlike other jobs, roadies worldwide can typically be fired without cause, they have no medical insurance, no pension plan, no sick leave, no set hours, no overtime or anything close to a set of "acceptable treatment guidelines." Roadies for the most part are throwback from the 'days of old' or third world labor in many ways. But not all tours and not all bands operate the same and Peppers are beautiful and compassionate organization that is one of of the better to best tours one could hope to work on but still, like all tours, this tour will eventually end and spill a pile of jobless roadies out into the open roadie market. That inevitable outcome will happen to all, including myself. How prepared each roadie is to deal with that reality is up to the roadies themselves.

There are several types of roadies I have encountered in my travels. The Curious Adventurers, the Big Eyed Climbers and the Life-ers are three common ones. The Curious Adventurers are the ones that have some other skill or life alignment whom have chosen to tour for experience and growth, they may have a solid gig at home and the opportunity to take it on the road appeared or they have some sort of career training to fall back on when the tour luster fades. The Big Eyed Climbers are the dedicated roadies that follow lines of opportunity with a voracity that radiates the sensation that wherever they are, they will somehow succeed and the same tools that got them here will get them somewhere else wham the time comes. The Life-ers are the ones with perhaps nowhere else to go aside from the road or lack any other skill that they are aware of that will allow them to survive any other way. In some cases they are stowing away a nest egg for their future but all too often I see them wrapped and blinded by the cash flow and tour motion as they head toward the same inevitable outcome as an old hooker with no other skills.

My long time friend Nick the Fly has decided to take some time off of the road to rock out on his own projects. What you may not know about Nick the Fly is that he used to own a sound company, he is highly skilled at building cabinetry including the many of the Rat designs and he is extremely adept with computer skills among other things. Nick, rock out on you adventures I look forward to hanging out with him off the road when this trip ends! I will miss him but know that it is every roadie's responsibility to pursue their dreams. Rock on Nick!

Pirate Lee Vaught who is the Rat Sound crew chief on the Peppers tour will now be full time FOH tech! And here we go to do some more rock shows!

Count down to fly away date - 3 days 23 hours and 45 minutes till take-off

The getting ready to pack my bags,

Dave Rat

Oh, and for you sound humans, I wrote a short blurb article on touring in the December 2006 issue of Sound International Magazine.

Day 117- Edmonton Show

nospam@example.com (Dave Rat) — Sun, 17 Sep 2006 22:48:00 -0700

Ithought this was a cool shot of the busses:

**** Roadie Research ****

Roadies are quite adept in the art of camouflage. Born with the instinctual ability and desire to seamlessly blend in with their surroundings, roadies are practically invisible when residing in their natural habitat, the rock show. In the photo below, roadie roadie Leif demonstrates his incredible chameleon like skills.

**** End Roadie Research ****

**** Old Punker Lap Story Continues ... ****

Laying there rolled up like a taquito, any movement just created mini drafts that chilled my frozen body further so I just spent the time clinging to the involuntary shivers running through me. At some point we must be getting closer and I bet the punker house we crash at next will have a big heater, they must. The illusion that things were still ok, though insanely miserable, was still holding strong, at least it was until I heard the sound of the van engine stopping as it meant that what little heat it pretended to make was now gone. The silence was eerie and without the glow of the dashboard lights, it was now pitch black as well and all that could be heard was the coughs and moans of our sick crew member.

This was my first tour, everyone else here has done this before, so it must be ok. It is my vehicle I am laying inside of and it is relatively reliable for the most part, usually. Painted flat black with a roller and with its primer gray bumpers, the windowless cargo van had been trustworthy enough to haul the Rat PA around town but but like me, this tour was the biggest adventure it had ever experienced. The day before this tour started I was laying drenched in tranny fluid underneath this same van trying to get the transmission attached back to the motor. Who would have knew that changing a leaky freeze plug would be such a pain in the ass? Not to mention the phenomenal greasy mess it left in my girlfriends parents driveway.

A sleeping bag was one of the recommended tour items, not owning one, I opted for carrying a queen sized comforter blanket. By spreading every piece of clothing I am not wearing below my van spot, I was able to add an extra inch of thermal insulation between my body and the carpeted sheet of plywood laying on the metal van floor. By rolling into the blanket I was able to become a mummy. Ka-chunk, the van door slams and I cannot believe that Kira just left the van. I can imagine no quantity of piss that would inspire me to leave this van right now.

And moments later the sound of the door slams again, followed by a struggled 'gajuuu gajuuu gajuuu' of the starter motor attempting to spin the engine. Slower, slower and even though I pushed every ounce of mental energy in to helping it out, the dreaded sound of rapid clicks sends prickles through my bones. Dismay. Click click click click click, over and over as if somehow it will change it's mind and actually start. Laying there in frozen denial dredging around for hopeful thoughts of someway to make the engine spin again. Earlier when we were actually moving the van engine was getting so cold that is was stalling at highway speeds, Kira had to keep slowing down to stop the stalls.

That is when I succumbed to the reality that I am going to have to leave the van. Bundled and gloved and as cold as if I was wearing clothes made of snow, I popped the hood and tried to illuminated the battery terminals with a frozen flashlight and it's barely visible dim yellow beam. And my mind grabs onto the realization that in my hand are batteries so frozen they are unable perform their task. Frozen batteries. Or perhaps just a bad connection, loose terminal? Thirty seconds out of the glove with a wrench in my hand and I can no longer usefully move my fingers out of the claw position. And "try it now" was just as useless as before.

Time for a pow-wow with all the humans that would acknowledge being awake. The one human that had been coughing has now decided to announce "we are all going to die" and has taken to repeating it in a heart felt panicked tone. This does not help the situation.

To be continued ....

**** End (for now) Old Punker Lap Story ****

The cold just think about it,

Dave Rat

WOWSEHNTTA!

Day 97 - Sacramento - Show Day

nospam@example.com (Dave Rat) — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 20:33:00 -0700

How about something new today? Come have a seat at Chad's drum kit and check out the view:

and lookie here, nothing like a sweet romantic love song to bring joy to the heart and tonight Freaky Styley is very much one my old school favorites!

**** Roadie Insight ****

As glamorous as the roadie life of pushing cases and bus riding marathons appears to be to the outsider, believe it or not, it truly is a bed of roses, thorns and all. As quickly as the euphoria of knowing your 1 1/2 years will be spent in many elsewhere's, the swirling 'drink me' temptation of all the pretty colored alcohol bottles, seductive wine labels and selection of local temptresses can all to easily become the preferred evening ritual. Load in, rock, load out, party, bus ride, TV, sleep, repeat. Days can easily slump into sleeping in, eating and meeting for drinks again. Add in some strip clubs, extraneous drugs, power dating and burn a few all nighters and bingo, you have the recipe for a generic rock roadie. That of course is the easy path and has its assets in the short term and prices in the long. Getting out of bed early to workout in the hotel gym or booking a car rental over the noise of the gig for a snow boarding trip on the next day off is where the true challenges lie. The obstacles of orchestrating scuba diving and fishing trips range from predicting bus arrival times to finding out that your alleged day off has morphed into a loading in day early.

For the roadie me, I have to have projects above and beyond the adventure of mixing the best rock show I can mix or at least I need drink enough to forget that I need them. Sober and project-less I spiral into boredom and the worst thing of all happens, I become no fun to be around or maybe too much fun depending. As you may have well guessed, one of my projects for this tour is sharing the adventure of this tour. Another ongoing one is is always my passion for Rat Sound and the livelihood of all those that make it what it is. Next I am going to learn to fly fish so I bought a fly fishing rod and Scott the Lampi is going to teach me how.

I guess because the product I am hired to create is so intangibly fleeting and the sound of the show vaporizes into a diffused set of opinions whisked away as the audience leaves. The only remnants that remain from something that was just hours ago phenomenal, is just some distilled words by a few reviewers sharing their own microcosm of the experience. As meaningful as they are meaningless and I have finished all to many tours with nothing to show for it but a wad of cash, a monster hangover, some ringing ears and offers for another tour.

And so spawns the playfully absurd and roadies desire to frolic and where better to frolic than in a grassy field? Non-where better there is. And so was realized Nick the Fly's dream of the FOH micro lawn. In October 2003 it became a reality and though short lived, on the west coast part of the Pepper's By the Way tour, we purchased and toured with several square yards of Marathon sod. To this day I still reminisce of the cool sensation mixing barefoot upon the lovely green.

**** End Roadie Insight ****

The appreciative of my world,

Dave Rat

ICWTSMGAMHC!

Day 93- Oakland Show 1

nospam@example.com (Dave Rat) — Thu, 24 Aug 2006 21:17:00 -0700

It has been a while and who would have knew, the return of:

**** Issue of the Day ****

Every tour with any duration always seems to have a point where 'tanti time' comes. Oh the heart warming enjoyment of grown roadies all upset over the relatively insignificant. And I never want to be left out of the fun so I naturally join in in anyway I can. Bus food. Seems there is a discrepancy between what the roadie bellies desire and what what the roadie bellies are being fed for overnight drives.

Though roadies are well known to want nothing other than Pizza every night, best I can figure there were a few busses that made a few trips with minimal or non existent supplies of drinking water, bee and wine stock. This, of course, angers the roadie's bellies and angry roadie bellies are capable of inspiring the roadie in which they reside into either profuse whining or even worse, taking matters in there own roadie hands. Couple that with the fact that a loaf of Wonderbread was discovered on one of the busses and hence erupted:

The Wonderbread Mutiny 2006

Though similar to the Boston Tea Party, the Wonderbread Mutiny 2006's place in the history books is yet to be determined. What was truly incredible was that word of WM '06 spread so quickly that within hours the head Peppers office 3000 miles away not only got the news but was able to orchestrate an eyebrow raising delivery of three additional loaves of Wonderbread. Anyway, soon afterwards the uprising lost steam because it was too difficult to be mad while laughing.

Furthermore, concessions on the food supply end were made as well and without a single drop of bloodshed, the the tour slid back to its lumpy harmony of balance that we all love and enjoy.

**** End Issue of the Day ****

And since I have to watch these guys every day so I may as well have you do the same:

And so ends another day on the road.

The reminiscing

Dave Rat

P. S. Have you ever peeled the crust off of Wonderbread and squeezed the middle part back into a dough ball?

IDTCYFBAAF!

Day 92- Overnight to San Francisco

nospam@example.com (Dave Rat) — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 12:18:00 -0700

Roadies love truck stops and if you are chipper enough to pop out of your bunk at a fuel stop, there is some real fun to be had. With everything you could need from truck parts

adorable gifts for the kids

and you can pretty much live off of these these multipurpose macro-marts. With restaurants, shower rooms and special trucker only lounges that have couches, movies and internet. The trucker sub culture is right at home here and most importantly, they are located with easy freeway access and 60 foot long parking spaces.

For us roadies, truck stops provide a place to frolic, shop and occasionally get left behind. Being left behind is called "oil spotted" in roadie speak. No one truly knows the origin of the term but evidence does indicate that it may have evolved from the statement "the only thing I could find was the oil spot where the bus used to be." To avoid oil spotation, it generally a good idea for roadies to leave a note on the drivers seat if they leave the bus. What happens is the driver goes inside to pay for fuel, roadie wakes up and leaves the bus to go crap in the bathroom, (piss only on tour busses) and the driver returns and drives off, hence the note idea.

I have a few good oil spot stories that I will save for a rainy day, but since today is sunshine, lets go sailing!

Nick the Fly's brother Joe has a boat in the bay and picked up Nick, Scott and I for a sailing adventure soon after we arrived in SF. Here we can see these salty sailors out on the open sea:

First they said something about coming around then it gets really noisy, all hell breaks loose, a metal thing swings across really fast and and then the boat goes the other way. I hide in the cabin.

They did that a few times and then started looking at the swingy metal thing

and it was much easier to fish without all the ruckus. Good thing too, cause otherwise I may not have gotten the chance to land this impressive behemoth

And such ends another rough day on the road.

The weary,

Dave Rat

IWTSTSFYEAIRYA

Day 89 - Day Off 2 - Denver

nospam@example.com (Dave Rat) — Sun, 20 Aug 2006 01:10:00 -0700

Special "what people do on tour" special!

**** The Amazing Durable Roadie ****

Touring gigs vary drastically in workload, responsibility and exposure to stress. Equally diverse is the schedule that each roadie in the herd maintains.

Riggers - are the sharp edged early risers. First in and last out, they calculate and hang the heavy loads safely over our heads. These clean, mean and meticulous machines effortlessly climb to frightful heights. The upside is that they typically can get a nice long mid day sissy nap.

Bus and truck drivers have even earlier call times as they drive all night and sleep all day, these nocturnal roadies like riggers, hold our roadie lives and the safely of our beloved wires in the grip of a steering wheel. An interesting side note is that bus drivers typically get carted off to a hotel during the day, while truck drivers sleep in the micro hotel room located in the cab of their truck. Bus drivers drive straight through to deliver their roadie cargo while truck drivers do showers at truck stops that are setup for exactly that, along the way.

Production roadies include the production manager, stage manager and production assists. With their early load ins and late outs they have possibly the most stressful gig of the bunch. Their chosen tasks of keeping the whole show running smoothly, sooner or later brings every unresolved issue into their lap. Plus they are responsible for organizing all the humans and gear to show up in the right place, right time, within budget and as many people as happy as possible. The positive side? Well hey, they run the show so if they need something they just ask themselves if they can have it and that has its advantages.

Lighting Techs. One thing about lights is that they take a lot of power. Big power means big heavy wires and a heck of a lot of them. These roadies are coming in soon after riggers and are at the gig till the hairy end. If you look to the upper sides of stage during the show, you will see there are four follow spot roadies. Those the specialized lighting people you see climbing ladders right before the Peppers play. We carry two of them, the other six are locally hired each night. Lighting techs to this day tend to be some of the more rugged roadies, maybe it is the wires or genetics but the work hard/play hard ethic runs strong in lampi world.

Carpenter. A highly specialized roadie whose purpose is to be able to fix, repair or build anything the tour may need and then do what ever else need to be done afterwards. Carps are cool!

Catering - In Europe we, as most large tours, carry full catering. In the US, the opposite is true. Why that is, heck I don't know. On this tour we carry a band chef and he also looks after the crew a bit as well. They shop, they cook and they feed and though it is a good solid day of work over hot stoves, the appreciation they get from grateful eaters is not in short supply.

Video Techs - Video is a bit of a newer gig compared to old school lighting and sound worlds and as such tends to vary quite a bit from tour to tour. With huge video sets like we have out here, the vid crew is running about the same workload/schedule as lighting. With the current video setup including two active cameramen and two roadies in real time control over video shots, they keep pretty busy during show time.

Sound Techs - A bit later call times than the lighting, the sound techs get to do a lot of waiting and then have a bit of a crunch to get set. The sequence of events during load in is usually rigging, lights, video, sound and then backline, with overlaps of course. The state of the art sound systems that we use today are a far cry from the old "hang a pile o boxes here" mentality of 5 or 10 years ago. Currently, every room is measured with laser range finders to determine the dimensions. The data is input into 3D sonic prediction software that calculates optimum coverage, potential volume levels and determines the precise angle of every speaker box. To learn this, the techs go through a training course and are certified as such.

Dressing room coordination - As you get closer and more directly involved with the artists, things take on more of an air of finesse. A far cry from thousand pound set carts bouncing on a forklift, building the happiness escape that keeps the musical humans smiling and harmonious is the job of dressing room humans. A world of comfort within a world of frenzy. Their day starts later but the end is dictated randomly by who stays how long. So, flexibility and adaptation are the name of the game while being the delicate buffer to protect one of our most valuable assets and the reason we are all here, the band.

Backline Techs and Monitor Engineer- These techs have an even later of a call time and finish relatively early in the big picture. The workloads are fairly light comparatively but the responsibility huge. Each backline roadie deals directly with their band human, one each for bass, guitar and drums while the monitor engineer with all four in he band. Every nuance from which guitar tuned how and when, to making absolutely double extra sure that the guitar, bass, drum and monitor rigs operate as close to perfection as possible, every single show. There is no error unseen by either the band member or possibly the entire audience. They have both awesome gigs and mind bending stress as each of them is pretty much responsible for the band hearing themselves and each other so they can perform the show.

FOH World - Lighting designer and FOH Sound Engineer live in a bit of a different realm. On one hand they are far from the fray of stage where the action is, on the other hand, everything the audience sees and hears is at their finger tips. The mass of ears is a unique critique that responds to feeling and emotion. Meanwhile, there are enough people in the know at each show that errors do not go unnoticed. It's an ethereal slow distance once removed stress that can pop into immediate trauma if something important goes pear-shaped. A gig I love and would not trade for the world.

Band Entourage includes the tour manager, TM assist, the band members and a few key people that keep 'em in tip top shape. The band entourage travel separately from the rest of the tour crew and many mysteries surround them. Actually, I am just side stepping the description as the documentary Spinal Tap has already adequately covered the facts from the band angle.

**** End The Amazing Durable Roadie ****

And time for this roadie to sleep,

Dave Roadie Rat

IHAWTJACBUYA!

Day 87 - Show Day - Denver

nospam@example.com (Dave Rat) — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 23:29:00 -0700

**** More Roadie Research ****

Just as pictographs, petroglyphs and later, hieroglyphics were used to depict the hunting, battling and deaths of ancient man, roadies too are capable of understanding simple little pictures. Astute stage-manager roadie Tim was quick to pick up on the surprising intellect of his fellow roadies and determined the best way to communicate clearly was in exactly that method, simple little pictures. Below you can see the load out sheet for our Denver show:

Though time has weathered this ancient papyrus scroll, if you look closely you will see to the bottom center a depiction of the antifreeze escaping from the bus motor. Directly to the right notice what appears to be a catapult launching roadies into the burning fire of Phoenix desert heat. You can ignore the other scribbles here, as they have to do with which gear goes in which truck and stuff, so it can be considered useless info.

There seems to be some disagreement between experts as to whether roadies were truly able to make a catapult that could fling a roadie over 900 miles. Many believe that it it is just a symbolic representation of an event while others believe that the roadie catapult did exist and may be located on a mountain top somewhere.

**** End Roadie Research ****

So, I took a wander backstage looking for something new to share and look, I found a little tiny drum kit! And it was in a room strangely enough called "drum room." Turns out, this little kit can make a ton o noise when Mr. Smith beats the crap out it before each show. And I must say, it is really cool to watch Chad warm up.

And lastly but not leastly, here is venue early on in the eve. For the PA nerds out there, you can see the dual stereo V-Dosc clusters in this shot.

good night.

ave at

MHLBWPFBSAT!

Day 86 - Travel to Denver

nospam@example.com (Dave Rat) — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 18:44:00 -0700

We lost a roadie transporter unit on the trip. There is something spooky about that SLC to Denver drive and more than once I have had strange experiences on that road. If I ever get around to digging up my old journals I remember writing down some interesting stories of trips through there. And whatever inspired someone to put a giant Brontosaurus on the side of the road and name a town dinosaur, clearly had no idea of the trauma that would cause some already lost and unsuspecting hallucinatory sleep deprived punkers. Talk about thinking you made a wrong turn. Add in all the crazy lightning and insta-storm thunder explosions and cops that have that backwoods mentality of shaking down the undesirables and that trip was a bit of a gauntlet run back in the day.

But now we ride in the comforts of our bunks in a professionally driven land yachts. Well at least some of the "we's" did. One busload of "we's", bus #1 to be specific, lost all the motor coolant 150 miles out of SLC and were scooped up and divided into busses #3 and #5 to do a cramped over packed trip showing up six hours behind busses #2 and #4 arriving at noon. The only good part was that bus #2, my bus, was so far ahead that turning around was not feasible. Though we could feel slight compassion for our delayed comrades, fortunately we were not personally inconvenienced and were well rested enough to give them a hard time when they finally made it in.

The realities of traveling in these luxurious sardine cans at high speeds while sleeping also came crashing into clear focus when bus #1 took a hit earlier this tour leg. From what I heard, a wayward truck tire slammed into its front bumper from across the highway with enough force to mash the bus up a bit while and test the crews ability to restrain themselves from pissing in their bunks. Just take a moment to admire these sexy land yachts that carry the precious roadie cargo from city to city:

No land yacht is complete without its brave bus captain. These specialized and highly navigationally developed roadies are amazing in their ability to operate equally well diurnally and nocturnally. Here we can see bus captain roadie Brian caring for his precious land yacht:

The sometimes nomadic,

Dave Rat

MGIIMBIIHS!

Day 82 - Travel to Boise

nospam@example.com (Dave Rat) — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 20:01:00 -0700

**** Approaching a Roadie - Etiquette ****

By request, I have put together a brief list of useful roadie terms. Using these words when approaching or attempting to converse with a roadie is highly recommended as it will put the roadie at ease.

When referring to a person that works with lighting, use the endearing term "Lampi" or if you really want to win their favor call him or her a "Squint."

Sound related roadies of both male and female persuasion bask in being addressed as "Noise Boys" or "Squeaks."

Any roadie having anything to do with video always with appreciates the the loving moniker "Vidiot."

Riggers who climb and do all the hanging of stuff from the ceiling are always warmed by being called "Monkeys."

When approaching a roadie in the wild, it is usually best to test the waters of safety by shouting "hey roadie!" really loud from a safe distance before running towards them at a very high rate of speed.

FOH (Front of House), refers to the shangri-la of blissful happiness that holds the caged roadies on display in the middle of the audience area. These special caged roadies are generally considered safer and less likely to bite than their counterparts that are displayed behind the security forces guarding the back stage area.

SWAG (stuff we all get) would be considered the equivalent of a 'roadie peanut.' Basically SWAG items are the treats given to roadies by the patrons. Watching roadies get SWAG is amusing to the givers like feeding an elephant or having a little goat eat snacks from your hand. It is always wise to bring little bits of SWAG for the roadies as this makes them very happy.

**** End Roadie Etiquette ****

Upon arriving in Boise, I spent a most enjoyable afternoon hanging with Lampi Scott and his twin 6 year old daughters whom have joined us till Arizona. All Good!

Dave Rat

TIWETYMLR!

Day 52- "Roadie on the hunt"

nospam@example.com (Dave Rat) — Fri, 14 Jul 2006 01:56:00 -0700

**** Roadies on the Prowl ****

Roadies do not forage. They are by nature, fierce predators roaming the tundra and acutely aware of the slightest nuances drawing them to their prey. Today we hope to track a Roadie on its quest for food. In the following sequence I was very fortunate to stealthily track a roadie on its hunt for food. The primal skills that every roadie possesses allows them to pick up on even the most subtle of details leading them to the the feeding grounds. Undetected, I spot Roadie Chris splitting off from the herd, he is clearly stalking prey or possibly has to go #1 or #2.

Notice the focus and stride which this motivated roadie exhibits as he venture into the cave ahead:

Exactly how roadies are able to locate the unsuspecting meal, remains mysterious. What environmental clues could it be following? Does it posses the sense of smell of a hound dog? The hearing of a bat? Sonar? The eyesight of a mole?

Quick, its getting away:

Ascending these precarious cliffs, the mighty beast is relentless in its pursuit, easily circumventing the dangers evident:

I have been spotted! It takes all of my will power not to "run away," Fortunately I was able pass without being eaten:

Unable to keep up, I became lost in the maze of unforgiving terrain:

And without any indication of which way to go, I give up:

Suddenly, I come face to face with the fierce hunter roadies, I turn to run, to escape:

When I see the hunt was successful and roadies feeding on their prey:

With the danger of the day behind me, I reflect on the events of the day.

Dave Rat

ICNWTICMYTHGITWA!

Day 47- Show Day, Ferry Ride to Ireland, Oxegen Festival, Ireland

nospam@example.com (Dave Rat) — Sun, 09 Jul 2006 09:28:00 -0700

6 or 7 or 8 am. Eyes burn, nauseous boat dull rumble sway. Good news is the ferry is much nicer than the last time I went top side. I can't remember exactly what year that was but maybe 4 years or maybe 6?

**** Roadie Research Notes ****

Here you can observe a multitude of roadies clustering in the travel position. Roadie are know to enjoy waking up early for boat rides. Clearly these Roadies are involved in some sort of celebration ritual involving festivities.

Also notice that in the background there is a TeeVee, much to these Roadies delight.

**** End Roadie Research Notes ****

Ferry Riding Rule #7 - Never get off the bus when riding a Ferry in the wee hours of the morning on a show day.

Exception - If significant amounts of water gets inside the boat, promptly exit the bus, find the ferry exit and swim hastily in an upwards direction.

Here we can the front of the boat at a less than optimum angle opening as we head to dock so the cars and busses can escape the belly. There are other doors that keep the water from getting in. I feel much happiness that the doors are currently closed.

The colony of fans, often referred to as "Punters":

and some show pics:

Ratman

Day 42- Travel Day to Derby, UK

nospam@example.com (Dave Rat) — Tue, 04 Jul 2006 18:49:00 -0700

**** Roadie Research Section ****

Carefully sneaking up on Roadie Scott, I was able to capture a shot during yesterday's show. Notice the colorings along his back, I assume it must be some sort of camouflage or possibly a defense mechanism to ward off potential predators or maybe even something to do with attracting a mate? This particular Roadie is charged with control over illumination of the Rock Gods.

**** End Roadie Research Section ****

Anyone got a broom?

One nice thing about the UK is that it stays kind of cool and rainy here so there is no need for those noisy air conditioners that are common elsewhere in the world. Accordingly, we have been enjoying the luxury of our non-AC hotel rooms that have nice heaters. Oh, and check out the newspaper today!

And I did some subterranean train riding:

Dave Rat

IACAIMMR!

Day 41- Show Day Reading, UK

nospam@example.com (Dave Rat) — Mon, 03 Jul 2006 09:16:00 -0700

Football stadium 3 of 5. Delay clusters are in a better spot and that makes me happy.

**** Roadie Research Section ****

With silence and stealth I creep slowly into the inner realm of the Roadie Domain known as 'Backstage.' Few humans trek these forbidden lands and as I delve deeper into the inner workings I am astonished to behold a rare sight indeed. It has been known for some time that Roadies are attracted and cluster around "TeeVee" but look! Here two Roadies have obviously discovered a a Shangri La of TeeVees and are observing intently. Notice the variant sizes of TeeVees plus there seems to be some sort of control mechanisms with which they are interacting. Of course we also see the multitude of wires with which these Roadies have clearly decorated their shrine. Roadie George and Roadie Jerry are rumored to control visual images seen.

One must always be alert! Though I try not to interfere with natural balance of the domain a catastrophe nearly occurred when Roadie Grier attempted to enter an unsafe area:

**** End Roadie Research Section ****

So here is !!! and though I was a bit apprehensive the first time I saw them, I must admit I am beginning to like their music and energy and they are doing a damn good job of holding up in a stadium as it is tough on any band to play in daylight on a huge stage. It is also cool that Peppers go out of their way to select cool upcoming bands that they like and give them the giant break of a lifetime.

And Ben Harper, one of my favorite artists/bands, amazing slide guitar, awesome band and everyone in the Ben Harper camp is super cool! If you are unfamiliar with BH, got get "Fight for Your Mind" CD and listen with headphones. I love just about everything he does but FFYM is a good starting place.

And if ya turn around and look the other way before all the people finish coming in, you will see:

Dave Rat

**** Begin undecipherable secret code ****

TWYRHAOFMLR!