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Itinerary (noun) - also known as "The Book of Lies" - is much like candyfloss - a good idea in principle which in practice is largely unsatisfying. Any sensible roadie will find many sensible uses for the itinerary, ranging from a handy way to stop a table wobbling whilst consuming alcohol to emergency toilet paper in a random German squat venue.

Itineraries are much beloved by an obscure and ill-loved breed of pseudo-roadie commonly known as a tour manager.

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